BLOGTIME 2025
DAY 3 pt 2: May 22 2025: I've been thinking a lot about radical psychiatry lately. like, the kind of stuff that gets a lot of lip service but is rarely truly enacted in the world of modern psychiatry. i listened to this podcast the other day and it really blew my mind and excited me in a way that i was like "i need to develop more skills so i can do this kind of thing". there's something there!!!!!! that feels really real. i think a lot about relationship and how it's the number one thing that is going to save us in the apocalypse - like our relationship skills (which i believe can be learned! and there are evidence based ways to listen better, and develop empathy - relationship is something we practice and can flex like a muscle!!!!! ok that's all) are going to be determine our ability to keep each other safe. patience can be learned. regulation can be learned. all these things - it's something that i want to continue to prioritize because it feels imperative to me that that's how it is. s/o to bethel house, s/o to ppl with psychotic mental illnesses, s/o to disabled people and etc. i could go on. anyway, keep it real. lots of love, future star.
DAY 3: May 22 2025: i went to go see rilo kiley last night. This is my review: Jenny Lewis is ripped! Like her legs and arms - it's like you lifting girl? whats your routine? tell me more about your protein sources. Anyway, jenny lewis continues to be "the it girl" aka who i want to be when i grow up. like, when i was 16, i wanted to be jenny lewis when i grew up. Now that I'm 35, i want to know how she's getting her macros in. also i loved how everyone on stage was really having a lot of fun! they all have beautiful smiles.
DAY 2: May 18 2025: future star on Bridgerton: an american fantasy of regency era britain, bridgerton ends up being a simulacrum of what it thinks it is. It holds a mirror reflecting the eyes of the average american woman watching pride and prejudice - but embellished with 'improvements'. Archaeologically, I find this fascinating when considering the colonial history of america - like the layers of culture and perception of culture, the cosplay involved in this kind of show.
DAY ONE: May 8, 2025 Today I've been meditating on why I make music. What do I have to say? one could ask. What do I have to offer? also - why spend your time doing something without a clear purpose that consumes a lot of energy and involves certain amounts of risk without clear benefit? It's not making money, it's not really a productive act when you make a song. I have really come to the conclusion that for me, it's basically self care work! Psychic tooth brushing. I think it's something I need to do in order to keep normal. Totally different tangent but that just made me think of the cycle of ASC-IC-DSC-MC. I had a chat with an astrologer who talked about this as a developmental cycle - ASC being the gifts you are given upon entering the world, your golden kiss from the gods; IC being the things you take in from your early environment/roots/caretakers/family; DSC as the self you are when you learn and teach in reciprocal adult relationships; MC being the "mark you leave on the tree of life". I always come back to the fact that everything that has come to me, that I wasn't just given, has come to me through music. So many relationships, so many lessons, a feeling of belonging - feels very fitting in the DSC part of things. My DSC is in Capricorn - maybe this is kind of why it feels a bit like work? haha! It feels like something that needs to be tended and structured and polished and maintained to be at its best. (The astrologer's name is Teagan West and I really enjoy her work!) Anyway, that's what I'm thinking about right now. I'm working on some new stuff, and it's really got me grappling with these big feelings! More soon :) xoxo future star